Joy Of An Intern

She (my boss) looked at me and she said "I really enjoy you working here,I'm not sure i want to let you go".....whoot whoot!!, i could scream at that moment,take off ma bra and wave it in the air, jump on her table, give her a strip tease, french kiss her like she has never been just to show how happy i was...loool...i was so happy but all i did was smile and said "Thank you ma". I finally got my first comment, after months of misunderstanding, complaints and a fight....

YOU...

"The perfect guy is just an illusion", i remember when this was my slogan, and i believed every word of it until you came along....

Rants Of A Short Girl

I look all around me and I realise I'm the only one very close to the ground. It's not like it makes any difference when i fall cos there isn't so much distance between the floor and me anyways. Then, i start wondering and thinking if God knew what my plans were/would be if i was taller, why one of my parents is short, why i had to be the one out of all the children to inherit such gene. At times, i feel so insecure cos i think everyone is looking down at me. I raise my head most times just to talk to people except when i'm sitting down sha..i'm scared to walk with tall people cos of the fear that i might, i mean i will be the shortest person amongst them and also very shy to walk wth short people cos i think it is so obvious we are all short.

I keep asking myself, did God really create me short cos he had a reason or cos he wanted to limit my plans as a tall person? And then people refer to me as cute, i look at them, *rme* and say who wants to be cute, i wanna be beautiful cos thats the term used for tall girls. I see tall gals and i laugh cos i wld be guessing if i would be between their hip bone and their belly button....loool....

There is no name i havent been called, smallie, cutie, portable, petite, miniature, short gal, and my favourite of all, "Mini me"...loool...that's just the funniest, the list still goes on o but these are the most common....At times i look at myself and i vex, i dey vex say i no tall, i beg God to just make me tall 4 a day...just 4 a day!!!....i look myself, vex for my mother, why she no commit adultery at that point of her life, yet she is the major person that torments me about my height....and then after all the stress of trying to look big, wear some pain-giving six inches shoe, make up, learn how to walk on heels all in the name of trying to be tall, i still get comments like "awww, you are so cute, just like a baby"........aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh.......




 PS This story is highly fictional...lool... 

Memory Lane...

As we go thru life, we forget a lot of little things that use to matter, things that made us happy, things that made us smile, things that made us laugh more than we ever thot we could..remember how u felt wen u got your first "aunty-give-me-cake" dress, iSmile...thots of that just flood thru my head..lool..i was a big fan of them btw..*biggrin*, remember when you wouldnt let go of that trousers even when it was "jumpepe", micheal jackson by force...lool...those little things that meant so much, it was like they were life itself....even when going for a birthday party of some neighbour, you would rather wear that jumping faded aunty-give-me-cake dress rather than the new one momc just got for you...little things that mattered, they were everything...

I'm a lil tipsy as i am writing this yh so (what am i saying, i just took a glass of vodka and cranberry, who gets high on that...*rme*), i'm just thinking back at those times when life was not complicated, life was exactly what it was..Simple...i did not give a care in the world, i wore this torn jeans for so long, they had a family meeting just to tell me it was high time i stopped wearing them...lool....how did it all get complicated, how did it go from being extremely simple to extremely complicated, is it life that gets complicated or we just make complicated decision, we dont think before doing some things and totally forget how simple things can be.... i weep when i think of how simple it was  back then, i hate the fact that we have to grow old, get hawt, turn beautiful, get eye popping shapes and all those guys wont just let you be...lool...not like i dont enjoy the attention...hmmn... i gotta go now, i'm blogging from this restaurant and i'm not supposed to be more than 20 mins at this system....lemme go b4 they chase me out o...btw the name of the restaurant is Cafteria Royale..some hawt new place in Ikeja....make sense die..ok enof of d advert, not like dey r paying me....bla bla bla...i will continue this when i get home...

Freewill....

So they say FREEWILL is one of the gifts giving to man by God but how come we are not allowed to choose our family(dont start thinking i dont like ma family o, thats one of God's best gift to me),like come to think of it,if freewill was actually one of the gifts,would all these kids that live in abject poverty in countries like sudan and all those african countries choose to be in such situation, wouldnt they choose their own family, the likes of bill gate, and all those eye popping billionaires? Would anyone choose to come from a poor family or a nameless family where you are subjected to oppression, depression and all the low quality of living?...so why exactly do they say FREEWILL is a gift if we cant choose everything we want?? And if FREEWILL is actually a gift why are there things like FATE, DESTINY and all those things they say determine your life?

But the thing is, if you are actually given the choice to choose the family you want to come from, would you choose any that is differnt from the one you are from right now? Even though i have been thinking of what it would be like being adenuga's daughter or dangote's daughter, if i am faced with the choice of picking a family to come from, would i pick anyone different from mine? would i say because i am so different in my house at times i feel like i'm adopted or mayb i was changed in the hospital..(all this ddnt happen btw), pick a different family? what would be my basis of picking a family, would it be how wealthy the family is or how happy, or how famous, like what exactly would be my criteria for picking assuming i know every detail about each family? Thinking of all this as a baby, wont my little head explode just because i want to choose a family to come from *rme*...

So maybe freewill is a gift yh, but it definitely doesnt apply to everything and in a way i'm actually happy i dont have to bug ma head all in the name of choosing a family, i guess there are just some things we have to leave for God to figure and in the end your family is not just your siblings and parents,they are also people that make impact one way or the other in your life (so dont blame yoruba people for calling every1 their uncle and aunty even when u know so well it's Aristo..lool), people you can run to when no one is there, people that would always be there for you no matter wat, people that would annoy you at all times, make you laugh at all times and people that would always stick with u when no one is there reminding you that they are God's little gift to you.......

Tear Rubber Tokunbo

Doing something for the very first time just always feels weird,like extremely weird...why is that?? Even if you've done it before,it just always feels weird knowing it's the first time after a long while..it's like fucking after a long time of being celibate or writing after leaving school for a long break...like what's the science behind it, is it some kinda neuro bla bla bla (i'm not a science major, don't blame me except u refer to computer as science) or some kinda psychology something...what exactly is the science behind it?? It just freaks me out every time i wanna do something I've done before again,it's always like i don't know what I'm doing, it's so annoying *rme*....

Anyways this is my first blog, not exactly first but the very first one here, (maybe that's why I'm ranting cos i don't know exactly what I'm writing) I'm sure it gets better. Name is Yewande, 400l (i just pressed shift+4 to get d number 4 on a keyboard, damn BB..lol) Bells University, I'm not gonna say my age,not like it's a big deal or something but i don't even look my age so there's no point..*wink*...this is basically my intro plus i enjoy writing...

BTW, this is gonna get freakier....